I had a little talk with a friend the other night.
We were discussing my mindset from three and a half years ago.
I went to walmart with my baby brother..
and the cashier thought we were married.
And I remember thinking...or feeling..
Oh jeez, how embarrassing for Pook, he deserves better than for someone to think he is married to me.
I look back at that..
A.) I should have valued myself a whole lot more.
My weight didn't and doesn't make me infinitely better or worse than anyone.
B.) I DESERVED BETTER.
I deserved to feel good about myself.
I deserved to spend time treating myself and my body right.
I think women in general have this sense that taking care of themselves is somehow selfish.
Then when they wipe themselves out taking care of others..
and are overweight and tired.
And then they have to deal with criticism of their weight..
They get depressed and turn it inwards.
Instead of outwards.
When they say "But I'm too busy.."
and their spouse, or mother or whatever says "No one asked you to do all this."
But then the family is used to you making yourself readily available..
a doormat really..
and you begin to take time to do the things to get yourself on the right track.
Whatever they said before.
There will be resistance and resentment.
Because who doesn't like having a person willing to bend over backwards 24/7 to make their life easier?
But that's okay...just point out that you are doing this for your health.
And that everyone else is just going to have to pitch in..
and just like they adjusted to your doing everything.
They will adjust to your Not doing everything.
Push past that.
Because you deserve it.
It took a while for my family to be okay..
maybe a year or so..
but now everyone pitches in around the house..
it isn't just me anymore.
There is more balance.
And I can start to pursue some of my dreams..
because they are just as important as anyone else's.
I count..so do you.